The distant goodbye

On a day like this, when sudden, sad news travels from the other side of the planet and a trip to say farewell and grieve with loved ones is not an option, I wonder what the fuck I am doing with my life … and then something wonderful happens to remind me this is the life I choose and this is the price I pay.

Cousins, aunties, uncles, family friends — please hold each other close and appreciate your physical presence and know I am with you in my thoughts and tears. Friends, tell your family you appreciate them and you love them.

They will leave before you are ready.

It helps to connect with people who have and will experience loss from afar who understand just how tough it can be. I have been learning how to grieve alone over these many years living far away from my people and the place I grew up and it doesn’t get easier but nor does it get more difficult.

Fortunately, I don’t have to worry about anyone from home understanding and accepting my absence. It is a double-edged sword, that one.

I recognize I have reached an age where this will become a more frequent occurrence. With friends and friends-who-are-family around the world, it will be impossible to be there physically to say good-bye each time.

Until, of course, I can shape-shift and time-travel so I can be anywhere in an instant.


We grew up together, we did, and not being with you right now to say goodbye to Auntie Hilda is breaking my heart.

I love you, Kimptons. Always have. Always will.